My Little Big Boy

Last night was a big night for us. It was A's first Christmas program with his preschool. We've attended this concert the last two years...with Z. This year it was my little guy's turn. I have to be honest. I didn't have high expectations. He still is a little iffy when I drop him off at school. Some days he's thrilled to go, others he's just ok with it and every now and then I still get tears when I drop him off.

So last night...low, low expectations. I got him dressed just as the school asked - dark pants and a white shirt. We took pictures by the tree and then I dropped it. I was afraid to hype the night too much.

As we waited to leave the house I took a look at him...a goooood look at him. He was so...big! He stood in front of the tv with his white button up shirt all tucked into his pants, a belt through his pant loops and a toy up to his mouth. He had all the makings of a big boy, but the one thing out of place or should I say the dead give-away to his real age was the toy in his hand.

We left for the church and I think I held my breath the whole way there. As we entered the church, we found his teacher and again I held my breath. I left him with her and Z and I found M who was saving our seats. As the music started and the kids filed in I scanned the kids for my little guy. As he walked on the stage I found him doing the same thing. Looking for us.

At last he found us. The grin on his face was the largest I have seen in a while. He was so proud up on the stage...so excited and so...big...yet small all at the same time. It may be the hormones but as I sat there I wondered how we had gotten to this point already.

He stood on the front row, grinning from ear to ear and calling out for Z. We all gave him a thumbs up and the concert started.

As they sang their last song my eyes welled. My little boy is so big now.